SUNDAY – NOVEMBER 30, 2014

 

NORA KRANK’S CHRISTMAS RECIPES

Christmas with the Kranks is a 2004 American comedy starring Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis. The screenplay is based on the 2001 novel Skipping Christmas by John Grisham.   It is one of my very favorite Christmas films of all time.  So funny that I’m screaming each time I watch it, just as if it’s my first time.

After Luther Krank (Tim Allen) and his wife Nora (Jamie Lee Curtis) see their daughter, Blair (Julie Gonzalo) depart for a Peace Corps assignment in Peru on the Sunday following Thanksgiving, empty nest syndrome sets in. Luther calculates the couple spent $6,132 during the previous year's holiday season and, not looking forward to celebrating Christmas without their daughter, he suggests they invest the money usually spent on decorations, gifts and entertainment and treat themselves to a ten-day Caribbean cruise instead. Skeptical at first, Nora finally agrees.

 

The Kranks are amazed to discover how their neighbors view them as a result of their decision. Luther's co-workers think he has become Ebenezer Scrooge when he gives all his employees letters that state about his Christmas boycott, local stationer Aubie is distressed to lose the couple's order for their engraved greeting cards and Christmas Eve party invitations.  The Boy Scout troop is upset and angered when the Kranks refuse to purchase one of their Christmas trees to help the scouts make enough money for a camporee, and the police are stunned to discover they won't be buying this year's calendar from them.

Most vocal in their objections are neighbors Vic Frohmeyer (Dan Aykroyd) and Walt Scheel (M. Emmet Walsh). Vic, who's the unelected leader of the street, organizes a campaign to force the Kranks to decorate their home so Hemlock Street won't lose the coveted award for best decorations. The Kranks are skipping Christmas? Unimaginable. Unthinkable. Unbearable. 

Vic Frohmeyer

Spike Frohmeyer

 

To make matters worse, Luther refuses to put his illuminated Frosty the Snowman on his rooftop. Every house has a Frosty on its rooftop at Christmas. Hemlock Street is famous for it. Walt doesn't seem to like Luther, so his efforts are primarily personal. However, it is revealed that Walt's wife Bev is suffering from cancer, perhaps dampening his holiday spirits. Children picket, led by Vic's son Spike (Erik Per Sullivan) to have the Kranks' rooftop Frosty put on display, neighbors constantly call, and Christmas carolers try to revive the Kranks' holiday spirit by singing on their lawn which Luther stops them by freezing his front lawn. Even the newspaper gets into the act by publishing a front page story complete with a photograph of the unlit Krank house and states that the Kranks' street has lost the prize and won sixth place because of how Luther and Nora refused to decorate their house. Still, Luther and Nora continue to stand their ground.

The two are in the process of packing on Christmas Eve morning when they receive a call from Blair, who announces she's at Miami International Airport, en route home with her Peruvian husband-to-be as a surprise for her parents. She's anxious to introduce Enrique to her family's holiday traditions, and when she asks if they're having their usual party that night, a panicked Nora says yes, much to Luther's dismay. Comic chaos ensues as the couple finds themselves trying to decorate the house and coordinate a party with only twelve hours to spare before their daughter and future son-in-law arrive.

While Nora scrambles to find food, especially Blair's favorite honey baked ham, Luther goes to buy a tree from the Boy Scouts but they only have one worthless non-green tree left. Luther arranges to borrow the tree of neighbor who is going away for a week with his kids and wife, being given the warning that he is not to break one ornament or damage it. Luther and Spike try to transport it across the street on Spike's Radio Flyer wagon, only for the neighbors to confuse this to be Luther stealing the family's Christmas tree and end up being called for the police to arrest him for theft. Spike comes to Luther's rescue by showing the neighbors and officers that Luther has Trogdon's keys and thus was given permission to borrow the tree.  Nora comes home enraged at Luther for making the borrowed Christmas tree a "Disaster" and how she had to buy "Smoked Trout" to replace the honey ham (because the ham rolled into the street and got smashed by a truck). Once it is established why Luther is trying frantically to decorate his home, the neighbors, led by Vic, come out full force to help him and Nora ready it for Blair.

Blair calls to say she landed in Chicago and the local police are sent to transport her and Enrique home.  After subtly giving everybody including Blair and Enrique, an unthankful and non-friendly toast, Luther tries to convince Nora to accept the cruise when she confronts him for the toast, but she refuses, disgusted that he isn't happy that Blair's home. 

 Luther, having a change of heart, sadly slips out of the house and goes across the street to the Scheel home. Bev's cancer, once in remission, has returned and, knowing this may be their last holiday together, Luther insists they take the cruise in place of him and Nora, going so far as to offer to take care of their hated cat, Muffles, who's always under Luther's feet. At first they decline, but ultimately they accept his generosity. And Luther, whose holiday spirit has been renewed, realizes that skipping Christmas wasn't as good an idea as he had originally thought.

This hilarious adaptation of John Grisham's best-selling novel, "Skipping Christmas" will become an instant family classic!

And now, here are some recipes for foods mentioned in the film.

NORA CRANK’S PISTACHIO BARK

12 (1 oz) squares white chocolate
1 c. pistachio nuts, shelled and toasted

Microwave the chocolate in a microwavable bowl on high for 2 minutes, stirring after 1 minute. Stir until completely melted. Stir the nuts into the chocolate. Spoon the chocolate and nut mixture onto a waxed paper-lined baking sheet. Refrigerate for 1 hour until firm. Break into bite-size pieces about an inch in size. 

BLAIR’S FAVORITE HONEY HAM

2 cups sugar

1 teaspoon onion powder

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon ground nutmeg (freshly ground, if possible)

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

1/2 teaspoon paprika

1 bone-in spiral-sliced precooked ham

 

In a small mixing bowl combine sugar, ginger, clove, paprika, onion powder, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Mix well.  Cover a baking sheet with aluminum foil; if you fail to do this, you may have burnt sugar on your pan, and it will take a while to clean off. Place the ham open meat side down onto the pan. Sprinkle with the seasoned sugar mixture. Press the sugar onto the outside of the ham. You may not use all of the seasoned sugar mixture.

With a blowtorch, gently heat the seasoned sugar mixture on the ham. Wave the flame quickly over the sugar—you want the sugar to brown, not burn. Staying in one area, and moving out from there slowly will make this easier, as you will be heating the sugar in a continual direction. This whole process will take about 15 minutes, so be patient. You can sprinkle more sugar on top of the already browned parts of the ham and make the crust thicker.  Leftovers are great  reheated or cold.

NORA’S CARAMEL CREAM PIE

1 (9-inch) graham cracker crust
2 (14 oz) cans sweetened condensed milk
1 (7 oz) jar marshmallow cream
1 (8 oz) container whipped topping 

Place the cans of sweetened condensed milk (labels off, unopened) in a large pot; bring to a boil, then lower the heat and simmer for 3 hours, making sure the water stays above the cans. Let cool 1 hour. 

CAREFULLY open the cans and scoop contents into large bowl. Fold in the marshmallow cream. Pour into pie shell. Chill in refrigerator for several hours or overnight.
Serve topped with whipped topping. When cooked that long, the sweetened condensed milk turns into caramel. Very yummy and so easy!